Collaboration. I have never worked at a single company that wanted people talking or collaborating on the work floor, or even when sharing a cubicle, let alone listen to any suggestion us peons had to offer. They keep using it as an excuse for RTO.

I had one retail manager who constantly kept using “moving forward” for everything. It was so freaking grating!

I hate that I’ve learned to censor myself around these soulless void-skulls by replacing “problem” with “challenge.” No, I don’t “solve problems”, because to acknowledge something as a problem is negativity we just don’t need here at Emperor Clothing Inc! I “tackle challenges”!

It’s so freaking goofy and they just eat it up. Everything needs some sort of business-positive spin or they lose their minds and think you’re not being a “team player.”

‘contextual knowledge’

this gem was put forward in all seriousness when the data didn’t support the claims in the report: “it’s not in the numbers, but we have a pretty good sense that this is true”

Let’s take it offline

Leadership at the company I work for started saying “let’s double click that” to mean let’s go into more detail on that topic. Hate it.

Also “let’s this offline” which just means let’s have a different meeting about it, it’ll still be online because we’re all remote.

when they give thier non-apology apologies.

Flywheel. Stop.

The term “let’s slow time this” was used for a while. I can only assume that was some corporate phrase.

Please socialise the requirement throughout your teams

Just the recent used-car lot trash

• the ask
• the spend
• action this
• effort the task

… fighting for hate space with the recent shit jargon

• literally
• cap
• based

… and people who can’t write English

• the above list
• the below list
• setup vs set up
• shutdown vs shut down
• start up vs startup
• pluralizing support, e-mail, deer, effort, and other ‘non-countable’ style nouns with an S. I was raised rural and I still know the error there.

… and a special fuck you to people who join words together where normally they need a space

• opensource
• incase
• aswell

… because that last part is just cheap indolence.

Let’s circle back.

Actionable. Ugh.

The Q3 numbers have a life of their own. Growing, shrinking, zig zagging all over the place. Pushing needles, pulling levers. And fyi, the roi is tbd. high five synergy!

Referring to people, staff as resources. Nice and dehumanizing.

Alright, team, let’s circle back and ensure we’re fully aligned on our north star objectives. We need to leverage synergy, engage in blue-sky thinking, and touch base on our pain points to drive mission-critical outcomes. But let’s not boil the ocean with unnecessary jargon - at the end of the day, we need to optimize our bandwidth for real, value-driven impact. If we keep moving the needle with this kind of thought leadership theater, we risk losing sight of our core competencies and drowning in a sea of meaningless buzzwords. Let’s pivot toward clear, actionable insights and sunset the overuse of strategic messaging before it becomes a blocker to true innovation. Instead of just playing the fast-follow game with every trending framework, let’s focus on original, high-impact execution that actually drives results.

Thoughts? Chris, do you have any builds?

No?

Good. Then let’s action this and drive it across the finish line!