I’ve heard several stories about couples that suddenly stop having sex, start snapping at each other for stupid bs, your girlfriend who was so sweet and supporting becomes her mother, a raging, yelling psychopath, looking for excuses to be passive aggressive, inviting her friends back home when all you want to do is rest after your workday, your boyfriend, so passionate about you is suddenly cold towards you and wants to be left alone. Before having a child you were inseparable, now it’s like you hate each other and rant about your loved one with your friends…
I couldn’t survive such a radical personality change.
Does this phase eventually runs its course?
How do you find the mental fortitude to ignore the stupid bs your partner does or says?
How would you describe love to your partner a year after having a baby?
Is there any way to know if you and your partner are going to make it and remain a couple after having a child?
If you have a good foundation for a relationship, an equitable partnership with open and compassionate communication, shared empathy, and respect for eachother, you are going to be in reasonably good shape.
The thing is, the process of having a kid is stressful, once they are here, it is physically taxing and can be emotionally draining. You don’t get sleep in regular or meaningful amounts or patterns, your pattern is disrupted but you also have to do all the other things you had to do before to maintin your life. Chores and work get less time and things pile up. Which makes it harder to do other things you have/want to do. Even if you find the time, you may not have the energy or mental capacity to do it. It can be a very lonely experience even with a good partner.
That said, if you remember, its you and your partner working together for the baby, for eachother, or against the problem, its manageable. You WILL need to adjust to it but it gets easier over time.