The key is to know why you’re communicating and under what implicit rules and beliefs. Some people want to learn something, to spread a message, to impart info, to vent, to feel important, to have fun, to perform for an audience, to feel understood…your job first of all is to figure out what your interlocutor’s aim is and if it is different from yours, to bear that in mind before get so invested that you can’t let it go.