Goose meme: Where do the original files come from? Where do the pirates get the files in the first place?!

Women are crazy.

They love watching true crime about horrible serial killers, but if you show them your collection of severed trophy ears, they run for the hills.

Jokes on them though, I can run faster.

They are going to call this terrorism.

That means they are terrified

Tibet

Concealed carry Electronic Warfare suite has arrived.

“If any man dies with a clean sword, I’ll rape his fucking corpse!” - Winston Churchill, 1940.

He put all his money on red.

But Europe is playing poker.

Booing when a Boeing plane lands safely because you updated your life insurance for nothing.

4. Cardio

Yes :)

I write long wordy emails with pictures all the time. The truth is, it’s not for the recipient, it’s actually for me, in 7 months time when I forgot that client ever existed and they pop back up wanting XYZ and I need to remember what we did last time.

The pictures and diagrams are for me.

The average modern website steals more personal data than this from you when you visit

Is the nice lady still inside?

“Yes hello I am your security detail, don’t worry I brought exactly enough bullets.”

Not seen: Prison-issued thigh high rainbow socks.

Cumrags?

They worked so much together they didn’t even have time to find good, sturdy wives! What a noble sacrifice!

Mine is 13 years old. It just randomly powers off, and then it won’t turn back on even when you press the power button.

I learned through trial and error that I just have to unplug and re-seat the 2 RAM modules, then it will turn on again. It’s common enough that I just leave the side panel off so it’s like a 30 sec operation every 3-4 days.

Hitler wouldnt accept allied troops in France either

Yes, as does my DDR3 RAM that keeps randomly crashing my PC every few days (can’t upgrade RAM without replacing motherboard, CPU, case)