I think it’s an x11/Wayland incompatability issue.

My pocket mirror had a copyright date of 1914, but it’s reasonable to assume it’s a bit newer than that. It’s probably around 100 years old.

It’s great to hear that you don’t want to die. Having a difficult time expressing your emotions doesn’t mean that they aren’t there. You’re only 20 and there is so much of life ahead of you. You have plenty of time to transition, and based on what you’ve described here it seems likely that you would receive a gender dysphoria diagnosis if you sought it out.

There are plenty of things you can do before that to focus on gender affirmation and taking care of your mental well being. You’re in a really emotionally intense stage of your life and transition and it is important that you treat yourself kindly. How you are now is not how you will remain.

I guess there’s always Haiku?