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Joined 23 days ago
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Cake day: March 18th, 2025

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  • Crushes are like the common cold, I think. Sometimes they appear out of nowhere, and we have to endure them until they pass, but we don’t have to indulge them.

    Something that can help is to pick something that’s an annoyance about that person, or a reason that you wouldn’t actually want to be with them, and redirect your thoughts toward that when you find yourself thinking of them. It can be something really important (“No; I could never be with a married man!”) or even something very dumb or superficial (“Ugh, hairy ears!”). It doesn’t really matter, as long as it’s something that helps to train your mind/heart away from “I want” and towards “I don’t want.”

    If you know you can’t be with someone, or wouldn’t really want to outside of whatever fantasy you’re indulging, then finding ways to stop indulging in that romantic daydream is the best thing for both you and them.

    Edit: something else to ask yourself is whether this is actually about this man, or about something he’s come to represent to you. You’re a long way from home in a foreign culture. Are you really looking for his love, or are you craving something he represents (stability, home life, end of loneliness, etc.)? It’s worth reflecting on.











  • I don’t think it means that silence will necessarily benefit you materially – rather that silence is something precious or valuable. Maybe consider the proverb’s relation to these similar ones:

    Still waters run deep.

    Better to close one’s mouth and be thought a fool, than open one’s mouth and prove it.

    The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things.

    The prudent keep their knowledge to themselves, but a fool’s heart blurts out folly.

    A wise old owl sat in an oak:
    The more he heard, the less he spoke.
    The less he spoke, the more he heard;
    Why aren’t we all like that wise old bird?







    1. Canada (I live here)
    2. USA (many many family/friend visits since I was a child; also lived there for ~6 years as an adult)
    3. England (one week in London, one week in the South Downs)
    4. Denmark (three weeks for a family visit)
    5. France (a weekend in Paris)
    6. Belgium (about 2-3 days in Bruges)
    7. The Netherlands (about 2-3 days in Delft)
    8. Germany (roughly 6 hours, driving from Belgium to Denmark)