I dunno, coast guard?

If they gave me ten million USD (or assets of equivalent value) no strings attached I would stop feeling murderous when I think about that particular exec or company.

The best security for a healthcare exec is making sure claims get approved at your company. All of them.

How else are they gonna figure out who to promote

I’m just going to wait another 75 years for someone to do my dirty work for me, like the rest of the American populace

Excuse me but salty is just another part of the cheese pyramid

When I was in college one of my neighbors would light a candle on the porch and then sprinkle creamer on it. Made quite the fireball.

I want to try one of those yellow biting onions

A friend of mine who worked at a sandwich shop introduced me to spike. I normally want my tomatoes cooked, but seasoned with spike is pretty good too

I like the flavor of vinegar. That’s why I put on mayo, mustard…

if you’ve got three hours to kill Paint Your Wagon is my favorite western. It has Clint Eastwood and Lee Marvin in a polyamorous throuple.

yeah, i knew most other kids didn’t have five grandpas but that’s what I grew up with so it doesn’t seem unusual to me.

i watched Paint Your Wagon the other day and forgot how good some of the music was

I’ve just come into possession of a cure for fascism.

They come in capsule form. For best results, they must be taken internally.

Here is the handy applicator

Same energy

Those are very low calorie owls

I dunno the ussc might rule that since there’s no enforcement mechanism explicitly tied to the limitation in the constitution, it is one of those laws that Republicans can ignore. Like they did with the 14th

Like I believe generally everyone needs . waffle eating books should imaginatively teach evil

Death can take a seat I’m making ribs

I’m pretty sure that empty chair Clint Eastwood lost a debate to us on there somewhere too

ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ 🎶HANDS ME DOWN THAT CAN OF BEANS🎶