God dammit, this is the worst fucking timeline I’ve tried so far.

Guess I’m going out of my way to shop at Target now.

Well…

Some things in life are bad

They can really make you mad

Not sure what the sun ever did to you to deserve that, but I find that to be too harsh (on the sun).

Cheer up, Brian!

I recommend that Elon Musk be deorbited ASAP

And by “deorbited” I mean “take away his Ketamine”.

Some people are motivated best with a carrot, but others require the stick. Cult leaders who know how to use both will maximize their control.

And yet she will be confirmed because this is all just a pony show.

Quiet, Rebel scum!

Et tu, Apple?

Huh.

I did not have “Agreeing with Sam Altman About Anything” on my bingo card this week.

Every accusation is a confession.

I bet he cuts his pay 50%

WE KNOW IT WAS YOU, MOLLY 0xFFF

We’d already be in civil war. Literally.

We already are.

And we are getting our asses handed to us.

They said out loud that the zone would be flooded with shit in order to accomplish their real goals and it’s like no one even heard them.

Did he have a big drink of water before he declared it?

So the only things that’ll be open in the whole country are the casinos?

I want to live in the timeline where things Bernie sees actually come true.

Don’t worry, since we’re starting to ban social media for children to protect them, I’m sure we’ll ban church for children, too.