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From my understanding most of the pills you would take to calm you down take time to start working, like weeks to a month or more to fully do their work, so you can’t really take them in the manner that you are wanting.
I will say that I’m not expert by any means and I have have no first hand experience with the types of drugs used to treat the diagnosis you described, but I do read on such topics and have talked with friends that are on these sorts of medications about their experiences with them. So I’d defer to a doctor or other people with a similar history to yours if their experiences say different.
I suppose when considering taking medication that you have to weigh the negative side effects against the amount of negativity these outbursts cause you in the long run. Sadly, it’s also hard to say how any one medicine might effect you ahead of time, because these medicines are known to effect people quite differently even coming down to the exact dosage you might need vs what another person might need.
I hope you can find something that works for you, keep at it!
I think what they are maybe trying to convey is that when you’re lost in the throes of schizophrenia you aren’t exactly operating on valid logic so it’s hard to even realize that you are doing the things that you are doing. If that makes any sense.