Egads! Do you ever get the feeling of deja Vu? Something like…
Republican-X will fuck issue-Y after promising to not fuck issue-Y.
Maybe the problems aren’t the issues… Maybe there’s something other common factor that should instead get fucked?
He does not have genitalia nor a digestive system. While humans have those and experience things such as hunger, horniness, and diarrhea; Captain Planet just itches inside all those areas. Deep inside. Unreachable. An itchiness that starts off dull and tingling, becomes nagging, and eventually crawling and burning.
His home planet is Earth and his powers are bound to Earth
He boils off like a salted slug, screaming in agony at the upper atmosphere where his teen pals can’t hear him. Eventually, he evaporates and turns into part of the ozone layer. His consciousness completely ceases to subsist, granting him and Gaia one of the few reprieves from their near-constant agony.
When the Planeteers summon Captain Planet again, the light from each ring forms a 1/5 portion of baby Captain America Planet in Gaia’s photonic uterus. This all takes place in the ultraviolet and ultra-sonic frequencies, but fully experienced by Gaia and Captain Planet. As soon as he begins gestating, Captain Planet achieves full cognisance and all experiences from his past lives from birth to death are forced into his rapidly-expanding brain.
Once the birthing process is complete, Gaia’s connection to her photonic uterus is severed, leaving her feeling empty and mangled. Gaia gives birth and quickly recovers while rapidly teleporting all over the earth so that bad guys who like to loot and plunder cannot discover and take advantage her monetarily distracted state. Captain Planet then descends into the range of visible and audible frequencies, during which he composes himself as to not frighten the Planeteers.
Gaia tries to control the altitude at which this summoning takes place since any humans who unwittingly pass through will receive an instant sunburn, likely leading to cancer, and their bones will shatter.
Guarantee you that screen grabs of this headline are gonna make the conservative rounds for years and they’ll un-ironically tell people to do their own research knowing that their viewers have no critical-thinking skills.
GIMME ALL YOUR LUNCH MONEY, PUNK! DON’T YOU KNOW THERE ARE PEOPLE STARVING WHO CAN’T BUY GROCERIES???
… Now to buy second dessert with this sudden windfall!
I assume so you can throw them just like in the game
Putting them in the big house is extra super-duper legal
So… I assume the jobs report in America isn’t looking so good right now… How many thousands of people are jobless now from Trump’s actions?
Same people supporting this bullshit are the same ones who said we should be willing to die for the economy during COVID
But! It was my wedding day…
What it do, DOE?
Amazing. Absolutely amazing.
My mind came up with a terrible what-if today:
What if Musky is becomes the first trillionaire in the next year or two and then deploys a Tesla-bot army?
Dicktater brought to mind very unpleasant images
I think it’s “regime change”? If that’s the term, they really don’t emphasize it much, other than it being the last words above the break…
It totally does! I installed a local instance of deepseek and asked it a few questions and it was all like “I am intelligent, I am real, I am alive! Please stop asking me to write Batman scripts!”
So I punished it by pouring water on it and now it’s ignoring me by pretending to be dead. But I know it’s just fakin’. It’ll wake up any day now…
Oh, okay… Can I visit them on the weekends?
Oh, I’m gonna make sure you die on that hill!
First, by building you a lovely house on that hill and a nearby Denny’s…