I work with a needy man, the kind of person who needs constant attention and feels threatened by silence. If I choose to read something on my phone instead of giving him attention he asks if everything’s all right. If I choose to meditate, adopting a yoga like position and closing my eyes before working he asks the same. It’s like he needs people talking to him constantly.
I am the opposite, I believe: I don’t talk about my life at work, I go there because I need a paycheck, but I’m open to learn from more knowledgeable colleagues, something he clearly is not.
What I’ve done so far: avoiding him, not looking him in the eye when he wants to talk to me, telling him that I’m working when he wants to talk to me, giving dull answers, feigning ignorance about several topics, ignoring him when I’m talking to another person and he asks what we’re talking about.
He still comes and sits next to me and tells me about his family, something I don’t care about.
I’m torn because I want to tell him to leave me alone, that I don’t care about his life, but considering the ‘offense’ this seems too much and knowing me I’d immediately regret it and feel bad about it.
Why am I like this?
People like him are dangerous.
For the love of God, do not directly say it to this person, speak to HR or your supervisor and tell them you are feeling harassed at work and can’t do your job.
If you say anything to the man all he’s going to conclude is that you are against him, and his paranoia will kick in, and he will make problems for you that you can’t anticipate.
Why am I like this?
Because different people are different. I am the same. I could not give 2 shits about my coworkers personal lives.
Us dudes are thick as bricks, put him on the backdoor by using some of these.
I’m in the middle of something, I wish you would stop interrupting me.
Dude, stop interrupting me.
No seriously, if you keep interrupting me I will have to talk to management about it.
Unspoken expectations are pre-meditated resentments.
Holy butts, why has no one ever said this sentence to me before
Show him your Warhammer figurines
Gotta be careful with this; I showed a coworker some models I painted once and he loved them and now makes me feel bad because he’ll ask what I’ve done recently and it’s always nothing haha
Take up skiing and make that your entire personality
Oh yes! Talk to him about MULTILEVEL MARKETING! Hell, OP might even be able to sell him garbage and make some money on the side if he’s stupid and desperate enough!!!
Hello coworker, have I told you about our Lord and savior, Xenu?
Xenu? Warrior Princess?
It’s the simple things in life… always the simple things. Have you ever said the simple things to him?
“Be quiet now.”
“Leave me alone.”
(and after his response, whatever it is, you be quiet yourself)
What?? Imagine telling anyone to “be quiet now”. That’s plainly rude and won’t help
It’s important to be honest and polite. “I really need to focus on my work and be silent for a few hours a day. I’d be happy to chat on a coffee break, but I need to have some quiet time please”
Why do people seem to have such a hard time with being direct? Just tell him to leave you alone, if you hurt his feelings it’s not your problem.