The Onion has instead switched to reporting real news.

Thanks for the photo mama, hu ha!

How has Dump or Mutler not tried to silence him? This is awesome that he’s able to do this.

I think we need to shoot that worm in his head, which might solve at least 1 problem.

They are gonna start their own app with backdoors and hookers!

Can’t wait for the version where they remove gameplay and it’s entirely cutscenes. We can call it a “removie” because they re"moved" the gameplay.

He would have to go out to his beloved rallies, he will expose himself because he thinks he’s invincible. He will make a mistake and a good marksman will not miss.

That’s the dunce cap.

Guessing Texas

Wait, I didn’t get that message. Why are we not in this group chat?

That would happen on ice so I don’t think it will care. On the other hand if you bounce the fish the heron’s head might explode.

Why do you need to be in the press pool, just ask to be added to the group chat.

Guess more of the Tesla batteries need to spontaneously combust. Tesla can’t survive on US sales alone. Especially when other companies are not despised globally like Tesla is ATM.

And put him in black face because you know he doesn’t have a problem with it.

Exactly, Jane Goodall didn’t run from the apes, she joined their ranks to study them.

This guy should be closer.

/s if it wasn’t clear

The toilet is putting the water in, not the user.

He can say it, he is one.

LoOK HOw EFfICiENt wE aRe!