I didn’t mean for this post to cause a bunch of arguing in the comments =(
I thought this was just some gallows humor (e.g. “Everything’s lovely except that I have to fear for my safety all the time”) type of shitpost that sounded similar to comments I’ve heard from women irl a lot.
I’m disappointed in Lemmy and lemmings, I thought we left this shit in Reddit. Can someone lock this dumpsterfire of a comment section already?
Agreed. Like I get “hurr durr statistics”. But you’re not very likely to be in a car crash on any given day, but you still put your seat belt on. That people can’t take the backseat for just a second and have some empathy for the struggles of other people without butting in with whataboutism. You’re even allowed to share in their struggle. I don’t fear I’ll be SAd, but of course I fear physical violence, so use your commonality to support each other rather than trying to one up.
As a girl, I love taking walks in the evening/night or early in the morning, they really are a vibe! However if there’s a man who appears to be following behind me, I always grab my keys in my pocket to be ready to fight in case he tries anything. I will also text friends/family when I’m going out and text them when I arrive back home.
Men really can’t do anything fun anymore 😔
women fear being murdered by men they’ve rejected and strangers
– oof ouch owie my male feelings!
Yeah. That’s what I was doing too… awkward.
us
Bears win again
Anyone who wouldn’t pick the bear does not deserve bears.
There’s not enough education about psychopaths and the dangerous subtypes like dark-triad psychopathy.
I only learned about it in my mid twenties.
If we taught about it there could be prevented a lot of harm.
If you don’t know about it chances are that you always ask yourself „how could someone do This?!“
Simply because they have characteristics that are so far away from your world of feelings and perception of social stuff that you are incapable of understanding it unless you get informed, at least this was my situation.
My god, I am a cis male and I don’t feel threatened or targeted by this. I think there’s a reason why certain men feel attacked.
Nyah. Different people load different meanings. Like
men love to commit murder
and
women love to make things up
Both are provocative statements which will be viewed fundamentally differently even by people with similar values.
I should have expected to see a bunch of whining when I opened the thread.
I’m also cis male and I am worried about strange men coming near me at night when no one is around. Because, you know, muggers and shit. They murder sometimes too. Does that make you whiny little bitches’ hurt feelings go away?
My brother is a cis male too, he was assaulted and robbed, by two males (at least seemingly so, can’t exactly say what they identify as 6 years later).
Just a bunch of males who only complain about the statistics of men being harmed when women talk about systemtic sexism. They’d probably also loudly claim that white people are victims of racism too when a black people talks about being harassed by cops.
Fucking hate Reddit 2.0 for this shit.
Well I was just called a bigot for daring to say that calling quoting the statistic that men commit more murders than women sexism is no different from calling quoting the statistic that most crimes in Sweden are committed by white people racism. So there’s no probably about it in my mind.
Same people will gladly hurl slurs and sexist remarks then call it misandry when a woman said she doesn’t need a man with a dildo, or reverse racism when a black person said they enjoy spices in their meals.
Heaven forbid that woman say she doesn’t need a man because there are other women.
Because you are solipsistic & are desperate to get into the pants of a woman, that’s why
Don’t need to, yo momma already lets me in nightly 😎
Does she let you take the bear suit off though?
tfw you can’t see women as anything other than sex objects and you just assume everyone else is like you
That’s rich coming a person that wants to demonize men (Oh & BTW, who told Women to make an OnlyFans ?? Not men)
Men are trash tho (I’m a man and I know other men so I know)
Yeah because you are typical solipsistic male who wants a women in their life (Hence the good-ol “I am one of those good men” schtik you are spouting)
Women are trashier then, as they’re group so priviledged that it makes the nobility jealous
solipsistic
Do you even know what that means?
They don’t, clearly
Gross to me that multiple comments here are ignoring this reality. Crimes committed by men against women in situations like that are so common that women aren’t protecting themselves unless they consider every unfamiliar man a potential threat.
Obviously women can also commit crimes against men, but its so much less common that I don’t have to take precautions to protect myself against them.
As a man it kind of sucks when you are assumed to be dangerous even when you aren’t, but you need to get over it. Its not worth it for women to compromise their safety, and assume you to not be a threat just to make you feel better.
Is it really common though? Looking at the generalized US stats its seems that 95%+ of women murdered are by a person they know. Where as for men that stat is 78%. Its pretty rare to get murdered let alone murdered outside on the street. Most* people fear strangers because of news events not because of likelihood.
Random murders just aren’t common and random women murders are even less common. Even rape and sexual assault the stats of random attacks on the street are very low. https://cde.ucr.cjis.gov/LATEST/webapp/#/pages/explorer/crime/crime-trend
This is for the US, I’d expect it to be far lower for most other countries.
I just want to know how these figures would change in case women were to change their behavior and start going out for late night walks.
I think part of the reason we see these numbers instead is due to women’s apprehensivess in the first place, but I could be wrong.
I mean the honest reaction is if someone wants to stay home to not get murdered. Fine, I couldn’t care less and it’s stupid for me to have an opinion on that, you live your life.
But it’s a sort of catch 22 that you’ll only go outside if you can be sure the figures won’t change significantly and the only way to see if the figures change is to try going outside.
I believe that this sentiment is fueled by social media and people seeing crazy events from all around the world. I think we could compare this to stats from 50 years ago to see if there was a major difference.
Obviously women can also commit crimes against men, but its so much less common that I don’t have to take precautions to protect myself against them.
Yeah, I’ve never had second-thoughts about walking past some dangerous-looking women or checking over my shoulder to make sure some woman isn’t following me home. This is a regular thing that women deal with, and pretending that the experiences are anywhere close to equivalent is odd.
It’s dark and night, how can you tell gender?
People are afraid of anything in these situations, but they justify it by using men as an excuse, even though, you wouldn’t tell it’s man or women, until it’s too late anyways….
I wouldn’t say I love murdering, but it is a neat little hobby to pass the time.
Just one little murder… As a treat.
#selfcare #mindfulness
I hear some people get over the cravings with a homicide patch.
I like to do a fun exercise every time I read something like this.
Swap the word for who you are accusing with some other group. If this make the statement distasteful then the statement is distasteful in it’s orginal form.
The Left like to blame men, the right like to blame immigrants so for example: “it’s a shame immigrants love to commit murder”.
Why is it okay to say men love to murder but not immigrants?
ITT:
lemmy fans learn Lemmy isn’t special
She forgot to mention the rape actually.
Random woman: I like late night walks, but I’m scared for my safety.
This thread for some reason: YOU DON’T THINK MEN GET SCARED? MURDERED!?
Like, chill. Yes, men can absolutely be murdered/hurt walking alone. But are we really going to sit here and act like women are making up their concerns/grievances out of spite? For some reason, if anyone mentions a general concern/issue related to women’s experiences with men, some people trip over themselves to say how it’s actually not an issue and how it’s actually so much worse for men. If I’m listening to a male DV victim and I go, “well, actually, women are more likely to be victims of DV. You know, it’s actually not even an issue for you. Here, look at these numbers that prove that women are the victims. Do you not mention it because you hate women? Why are you trying to ruin our spotless reputation as delicate flowers that can do no wrong with your lies”, you would think I was nuts, and for good reason.
I mean these comments are pretty insane but cmon you know what you said is not equivalent, this meme uses othering language and people got mad at it because it groups them with people they likely despise. Why can’t we just be on the same team? If I say “being outgoing is a vibe too bad women love emotionally abusing people” I sincerely hope you wouldn’t defend that.
I wouldn’t defend it because I wouldn’t even think it was talking about me in the first place. Some women are emotionally abusive, but I wouldn’t assume they literally meant every single woman on earth is an asshole and feel the urge to swoop in with, “Hey, not all women. Some of us are nice! Here, look at these studies that show that women are more likely to be in the other end of the abuse!”
Honestly, I’m more concerned if you think the threat of murder at night is a comparable threat to emotional abuse from any gender.
That’s fine for you, but people who are judged or seen as dangerous just for the way they are (i.e. often just being a man) might be sensitive to things that imply they’re dangerous because they probably experience it in their daily lives too (a kid being less trusting towards you, a person taking a wider path around you). Angry responses usually come from a place of hurt, these are would-be allies who are just reading it differently.
Not gonna lie that may have been the most depressing thing I’ve ever read. Please read a book on ptsd if you think it’s not comparable to the fear of being killed. “The body keeps the score” is a great book which includes cases caused by emotional abuse.
I am judged for the way I look. I am very large and masculine, as well as black. I am more likely to be confused as the danger than be in danger. I have had women cross the street to avoid me. So, as a person who has experienced this more than being seen as a woman, I still wouldn’t be upset. I don’t get mad or offended when a woman avoids me because she doesn’t know me. I’m a stranger, and she doesn’t owe me her bravery or even her kindness. Yeah, she doesn’t know me, yeah, I’m not a threat, but I don’t know that woman and it’s not for me to police.
And you know what I mean by the last part. I am very, very well aware that emotional abuse is extremely damaging. Any kind of abuse is. What I meant was that if you have the choice of murder or emotional abuse, I would pick emotional abuse simply on the ground that I’m not dying, not because I think it’s “easy.” I thought it was belittling the danger that some people face as not a fear for their lives. That’s why I compared it to male DV because I believe that to be on a similar level, not that emotional abuse just doesn’t exist. I was hoping that seeing it from another perspective, one that is usually ignored and belittled when men go through it, would allow for some understanding as to how it’s hurtful to belittle some women’s concerns walking at night.
Like, this is so fucking ridiculous (not you, this thread). All the post said was “too bad men murder” and we have people twisted up because it wasn’t , “too bad there’s the potential for man to murder another man at night.” i don’t see this hoopla on posts when men say they can’t cry, or that, for an example, they don’t get complimented enough. I don’t women coming in because they’re like, “I actually do compliment men. Do you know how it feels to be assumed to not give compliments with such a statement?” No, I am not saying compliments are on the same level or social stigma, but everyone seems to understand hyperbole in those situations.
I’m saying it’s fine that you aren’t bothered by it, but some people really are, and hate being compared to dangerous people and are sensitive about it, and will react badly to it. The way you respond is valid and the way they respond is valid, if a bit on edge. I can’t really explain it past that, it’s like someone is sensitive about their weight and you say “those clothes fill you out nicely,” and they get mad at you, when that’s not what you meant. It’s not your fault for saying it, it’s just knowing there are a lot of people who are sensitive about being called dangerous, we might want to take that into account.
I actually didn’t know what you meant, because I’ve met and read of many people who were suicidal due to emotional abuse, or live the rest of their lives feeling unsafe and distressed, so it seemed a valid comparison. I don’t think they would agree being killed would be worse than what they went through/the effects it had on them. Obviously this isn’t ALL cases, but that’s why it seemed a valid comparison to me.
I think about this sometimes, but you have 2 sides that are emotionally hurt and defensive. A woman out of an abusive relationship will say “all men are evil” and the men who are sensitive to that will get mad thinking they’re responding to a statement, not emotions. Now the man is likely to respond with emotions too, like “how could you say that about ME!”
I’m not blaming the woman in that state, or even the man for responding that way. Some people are on edge, and saying “men” to them means “including me” and now they have to defend themselves from the attack. If you don’t know why they would be so on edge, I would wager it’s because popular media (or even people in their own lives!) usually insinuates or outright says “men are idiots, men aren’t emotional, men are dangerous, men aren’t bothered by anything.” If you are the opposite of that, you’re going to be upset. This is also true for women. I’m just saying this is why people might be on edge.
Side note: I saw a comment saying “women lose all interest as soon as you open up emotionally” and about 1/2 the replies to them were saying “maybe the really bad women do this, but this is an incel talking point.” It’s not just men who are bothered by being grouped like that.
I guess my issue is why the discomfort of some men is what dominated the conversation (in this instance). Men are also victims of murder, more so than women. But this thread went right into, “You’re making us feel attacked.” This wasn’t about them in this capacity. The energy wasn’t, "I wonder why that is, or, “me too” or even, “lol, hyperbole.” It’s like, “Me too” versus “what about me” energy.
One of the highest posts (at the time of replying) is a damn near essay about how it’s worse for men when the post isn’t even denying that in the first place. Like, I don’t even disagree with it, but why are “you” on the defensive? If we’re on the same side, and both genders don’t want to be murdered, why did “You” come in with that energy? I could understand if they said “me too” and were hit with an essay in return, or silenced. But they weren’t (not that they should have been). Men didn’t join this conversation/thread and expand on the experience, they took it over and completely changed topic because (some of) their hurt feelings were more pressing than the concerns being referenced to. This meme didn’t even pick women out as the sole victim, and they still came in ready to yell over the hypothetical female victim of this hypothetical night crime.
Their feelings being hurt outweighed any truth behind that meme. Their feelings outweighed concerns for their own safety. Their feelings outweighed any woman who did feel like that post was relatable, who could have shared tips or suggestions. If someone did that now, they would have to “prove” their point before they could address it, or that they’re not trying to say they hate xyz, they’re just trying to give tips, etc.,etc.
This is not to say those mens’ feelings do not matter, nor that they should not be addressed in how we talk about violence, this is to say that this wasn’t about them, feelings or otherwise. It was about people, of any gender, who like going out at night, but sometimes get spooked. It was making a joke at how some activities aren’t always safe, and that sucks. If they saw themselves on the same side, I don’t know why they made it “male victim” VS “female victim” in the first place.
(Sorry that this is long as hell. I’m a rambler.)
Tl;dr. (jk)
I guess it’s like, I know this post wasn’t aimed at me but even still reading the words “men love to murder” I’m like “hey what? What did I do??”
I didn’t comment on it because it doesn’t bother me that much, but you’re asking why people who are upset and angry make the conversation about them… I think there’s your answer. They probably don’t even fully understand why they’re angry and just wrote what sounded good to them. I’d wager the majority of guys on lemmy are not neurotypical and already experience people treating them poorly, or thought they were scary because they’re weird, and now they’re being grouped with dangerous people. I know that’s not what the post meant, but again it’s the overweight person being sensitive, they’re not choosing to get upset over it that’s just how they reacted.
semi-related, there is a psychiatrist who made a youtube channel called healthygamergg where he would talk about psychology topics and set up coaching for people to improve their lives. I’m in to psychology so I watched quite a few of his videos, but to the point his community had said “you need to address how women are treated in gaming.” (obviously terribly)
So he made a video talking about how women had it hard and that you can’t exist as a woman in a game without being heckled. 100% on board. Then he said “like, women have it so much harder, you guys are living on easy mode.” and I haven’t watched a video of his since if was so hurtful. I know that’s not what he meant, I know he just meant women have a lot of unique struggles men don’t have etc, but to hear the stuff me and my friends went through being called easy mode was… really hurtful. Point being sometimes people have sore spots, and even if they should read it one way, I can’t blame them for reading it another.
What and guys aren’t worried about being murdered by other dudes at night? Lol
Statistically men are more likely to be attacked, robbed, sexually assaulted (in a public institution) and shot than women.
Men are more likely to be murdered in general.
https://www.statista.com/statistics/423245/us-violent-crime-victims-by-gender/
Violent crimes happen to men more than women on average.
I am a HUGE advocate for women staying safe. I think more women need to purchase and properly learn how to use a personal high speed lead slinging device.
HOWEVER I do not care for this claim that women are always the victims. Statistically they aren’t more frequently attacked or murdered. In fact they are slightly less likely to be victims. Bad people are gonna do bad things and everyone should learn to protect themselves against those bad people.
DOUBLE HOWEVER Men are overwhelming the perpetrator of violent crimes against everyone. More than 75% of violent crimes is committed by men.
At the end of the day everyone should stay safe. Keep your head on a swivel. Obtain and learn how to use a personal defense tool. Be smart.
I do not care for this claim that women are always the victims.
who said this?
honest query. I don’t see it in OP’s statement. You do corroborate their premise -
Men are overwhelming the perpetrator of violent crimes against everyone. More than 75% of violent crimes is committed by men.
so why the strawman argument at the start?
You said this, this entire thread
You said this, this entire thread
my only other statement in this entire thread is about your misogynistic statement about ‘good man schtick’. you silly chud.
Either your reading comprehension skills are woefully inadequate or your involuntary celibacy is forcing your brain out of your ears due to the hydrostatic overpressure.
I really think you need to get the fuck away from the internet mate, find a life, find some kind of purpose and examine the choices which brought you to this sad fucking state.
Rich coming from a chronically online dude You use thought-terminating cliches like calling someone an incel (& pure projection)
Apparently, calling out misandry is misogyny & only men who has their existence validated by women should be allowed to have opinions According to a lifeless husk like you
Rich coming from a chronically online dude You use thought-terminating cliches like calling someone an incel (& pure projection)
You aren’t calling out any misandry, you’re just a chud. I didn’t seek you out, you put this shit out there yourself.
Finally, buddy, guess what: grown men don’t need you to stick up for them. Honestly. You sad little shit.
So of the photo was of a man, bit with the same text it would be ok. Right? Both you, me, and the woman in the photo agree that men are the problem.
“Not all men” agreed, but enough to men to make others afraid.
Ohh is this the part where you break it down further and try to say because statistically PoC are more likely to commit crimes that PoC are the problem?
Because that’s certainly sounds like the sort of shittake you’re already doing there.
Discrimination has no place.
That’s a lot of not making a point. The girl in the OP is still worried about walking at night and the most common threat to a woman in that situation is still men. You didn’t counterpoint any of that, so it is just you shouting into the wind about stuff no one is talking about. Cool.
But it is not because of being women per se. Women are an easier target to get robbed for example…
Forget about it, there’s no talking or reasoning with man-haters
It’s going to be fun when the GenderKKK attacks these male-feminists, because they’re men
These people are the most annoying ones. Yet they hate to be called feminazis. And I know why is this: because it is SO ACCURATE.
Annoying ? Try dangerous & disgusting
It’s amazing you get negatives just because that stats aren’t looking so well for that. Sorry but as always these chihuahuas getting negatives without counterarguments is the most annoying part…
That sucks man. I love night walks too, especially through secluded areas and when it’s super dark, overcast and windy. There is something very enjoyable and exhilarating about being outside, invisible and unnoticed in a busy world. I feel bad that you don’t get to enjoy that.
I blame women.
For not murdering enough. The streets would be safer if men had the same fear.
Men are killed more often. But men generally have less fear. We go boldly unto death.
who’s killing the men?
Victim blaming.
when you totally know what words mean
Wow calling for the death of innocent people based on gender.
The fuck is wrong with Lemmy upvotng this.
its a joke fella.
